March 9th Forgiveness

Today is the day a lost one of my brothers, the one born after me. In 1999 he was murdered. The details of his death still haunt me and the people responsible for killing him have not been charged and still walk the streets.
I've been studying the power of energy and how forgiveness can be so freeing. I want that, I thought had that, I thought I was there. I'v been doing lots of meditation, breathing exercises and some yoga. But, recently I saw someone associated with the tragedy and I froze, all of the emotions and negative feelings came rushing back, especially thoughts of revenge. 
I could feel my head began to hurt and knew my blood pressure was rising I'v struggled with stress and high blood pressure. I was giving to much of my energy to a situation that I could not change. my brother was no longer with me physically and no matter what I thought he wasn't coming back. 
I truly want to live my healthiest life and my in my 40's my poor heart needs positive energy  and attention.  I cannot continue to harbor all the depressed, hopeless feelings associated with loss of my brother. So I will look at this challenge as an opportunity on my quest for wholistic healing, mind, body, and spirit. How to deal with stress, death and forgiveness. Forgiveness is not a feeling it is a process, I am not there yet but I am hoping that one day I will be at total peace.

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